just passed my one year relationship mark not long ago.
cant believe im together with shawn for a year already.
it seem to be me that we only got together not long ago
ohwell, im thankful that i have him in my life :)

im thankful for those people in my life right now
you dont need too many friends
just those that you feel comfortable enough to let your guard down and let them walk into your life
without fearing that they might leave you anytime

constantly waking up in the wee hrs just to make sure that you wont miss the bus to yr workplace and making sure you arrive early before your boss done is such a difficult chore for ppl like me to do. ii miss waking up late in the mid afternoon and playing mindless games to pass time. super duper miss post graduation month :(

ohhh cool!didnt realized that they know my blog since ii hardly ever blog. ohwell, ii never felt that ii fit in within them since the days back in the secondary sch. just a bunch of ppl to hang out with to pass time. clique being clique will always have problems as long as there are girls inside.

texted ducky again with my apology :) glad that we are still the same as last time, is like the miscommunication never exist. glad to have her back in my life, rly miss her ttm. furthermore, shes still the same person that i knew her since secondary sch. :)

cant wait to go bkk during my bday or rather the later part of the month. since bf and gang havent decide when they are able to make it. at least for once i look forward to my birthday as compared to my past birthdays which i totally dont enjoy a single bit of it. always had high expectations but certain ppl jus manage to spoil my birthdays throughout all these years.

life is too short to spend with ppl that you dont rly care.

weeeee chinese new year chinese new yearrrrrrr.... as usually, my luck for blackjack is as crappy as ever. ii shld srsly learn my lesson and stop gambling on new year. wad a waste of my angbaoooo :( ohwell, jampacked with visitngs this yr. hope my wallet is fat this year! heeheeeheee

ohwell, ii rly begin t detest last minute notice. they are srsly damn fcuked up thing ever. for example. clique called me at 11plus to tell me that they are at est hse and wanted to ask me wanna go over anot. like hello? ii was still outside at tt point of time and dont tell me you all jus planned tt lahhs. cannot lik tell me eariler meh? muz wait till you all at est hse den call me uh? ii didnt go in the end cos is a waste of time and ii dont wanna spoil my new year to see ppl that ii dont rly wanna see. another epsiode is countdown to 2011. wy texted me ard 7plus near to 8 and tell me that the grp coming at her hse ard 8 for countdown and told me if i hav nowhere to go den ii can come over. like hello. so last minute again? and sorry, iim not a loser like the rest, i was celebrating countdown with other people and was having a fun time as compared to if i were to spend my countdown with them. i began to detest spending time with my so-called clique. it is srsly such a waste of my god damn time.

choose friends wisely

weeeeeeeeeeee. tmr is the submission of our dearest fyp :))
so darn glad pls! yayy den can go chiong shopping for cny clothes
ii miss the old me. the old me which partied like theres no tmr, heck care everything, flirt like nobody business, smoke like no limit, drink till my liver gonna break down.

ohwell now that my internship has finally come to an end and ii have also return t sch. i cant help but wish that iim having holidays right now instead of slogging my guts out to rush for endless projs and those ridiculous 9am lectures that  iim constantly forcing myself to go (ohwell ii hardly can do it thou ) and constantly convince myself tt our fyp idea is gonna to work. ya right!this is so not helping. lecturers always harp on th fact that we yr 3 onli have 4wks left to do our final yr proj which consists of 4 mod and tons of individual projs t cope as well. do they think we are god uh?! everyone hav 24 hrs each so who the hell can accomplish so many reports in one friggin month you tell me?! srsly man, ii think singapore education is a joke right now. kids nowadays dont even have childhood or rather do they even know whats childhood?! their lives is jam packed with all sorts of tuition and ballet piano violin lessons that crazy parents signed them up for. poor kids :(

iim jus pretty brain dead right now. idk what to write for my sip report.

ohwell ii finally told shawn one secret that ii have been hiding away frm him since day one of this relationship. luckily for me, he didnt really blame me cos apparently ii was dating some other ppl as well :)) but anyway, which fren of anyone would kissed a girl/boy that your fren like and attempt to hold their hand when in the cab uh? furthermore, ron knows that shawn likes me back then alr and yet he still do this kind of nonsense. so ya shawn decided to break friendship with ron cos this is the ultimate backstab ever. ohwell none of shawns friends like ron cos they think hes a loser. god knows how many underage girls did ron hav sex with :/ ii pity those innocent or rather dumb girls.oh well ron tried t defend himself and said that it wasnt considered as a kiss (hello he french kissed me for godness sake ) and he didnt tried t hold my hand in the cab ( hello he did pls but ii let go ). :/ liars liars. guess he gonna spend his new year eve alone this year. okay ii feel rather guilty abt him and shawn but ii cannot hide this frm shawn anymore cos shawn and ii kinda always play mj with him and everytime ii see ron ii will always rmbed that iim hiding something away for shawn :(

does marriage rly last till both parties turn old and grey? will there be any point of the marriage does one party tempted to cheat or whatsoever?most of my customers have mistresses and they are open about it.perhaps marriage is jus a piece of paper which is easily tear into pieces. vows are not honorable as compare to our grandparents generations. Chasity is nothing in this era of ours. promises are not meant t be kept.

pfffttttt.. i srsly hate internship and i wish that im in school NOW NOW NOW NOW!!
ohwell, is gonna be OVER soon and im just gonna endure :))
shawny and me still quite okay i guess?
dont get what i feel most of the time :/

eve finally didnt private her blog!
can continue t stalk her.
im stil wondering hw is tt sob doing :(
why cant i just let go as i thought i can?!

ohwellllll... exams O.V.E.R. screw those loathsome exams.pray hard iim gonna pass if not ii can go down and jump down~!!! :)
today is my intern day 2. hmmmm, so far so good my job at ewf is still going on smoothly.
ii hope t ii can go thru my 3mths peacefullllyyyyyy!!! weeeeeeeeee.
wonder how is my other peeps doing at their internship???

hmmm,things has been going smoothly for shawn and me.
oh well, pray hard tt we can last!
both of us are quite addicted to this game called the world of magic.
ohwell, is something like dota but is so much fun!
iim so gonna train hard at this game so tt ii can lvl up fast den ii will be on par with shawn gab and ps!

no longer on talking terms with kimmy they all
dont know why will things turn out this way
but oh well, frens come and go
but ii just cant believe the fact tt it will happen to me and kimmy
they dont even regard me as family anymor
and the way that they treat me during sha's birthday was unpardonable.

ohwell, stressful period is approaching me soon. dreads the internship with unbelievable low pay.hope i wont be a slave to th company cos is not worth of my pay :(
sigh, shes still blaming me for everything. so what can i do now? perhaps ii shld jus leave her t die?
shawnyboy is darn nice and good to me!insist on fetching me home aft clubbing but hor, ii felt damn bad cos it means that he hav t stay awake til ii feel lik going home aft clubbing. thus now ii seldom rly club cos i dont want him t stay up and wait for me. ohwell ohwell, our first month is darn memorable. me in ultimate bad mood and him trying t pacify me.first month's gifts was unexpected and pretty :)) iim  quite thankful tt ii have him as my boyfriend. ohwell, lets jus hope t good things does last :)

sigh. when everything is kinda perfect or rather going smoothly for you
ppl tends t ponder whether the next moment would b bad stuffs happening cos good things dont last.
when i made a choice t b in th relationship. i know i wont regret it
but often, i cant help but t think tt if ii nv choose t b in one. what will become of us?
will we still remain as frens?
will i stil be hung up by wyner?
oh ya, speaking of tt sob. i cant help but think of him at times
it doesnt mean tt iim nt over him
it jus simply means tt ii wonder hows he doing now or those random thoughts of him
perhaps due t lack of closure thus ii would stil think of him at times
no harm done righ?

overall 
ii rly darn glad tt hav shawnyboy in my life now :)

ohwell, stressful period is approaching me soon. dreads the internship with unbelievable low pay.hope i wont be a slave to th company cos is not worth of my pay :(
sigh, shes still blaming me for everything. so what can i do now? perhaps ii shld jus leave her t die?
shawnyboy is darn nice and good to me!insist on fetching me home aft clubbing but hor, ii felt damn bad cos it means that he hav t stay awake til ii feel lik going home aft clubbing. thus now ii seldom rly club cos i dont want him t stay up and wait for me. ohwell ohwell, our first month is darn memorable. me in ultimate bad mood and him trying t pacify me.first month's gifts was unexpected and pretty :)) iim  quite thankful tt ii have him as my boyfriend. ohwell, lets jus hope t good things does last :)

sigh. when everything is kinda perfect or rather going smoothly for you
ppl tends t ponder whether the next moment would b bad stuffs happening cos good things dont last.
when i made a choice t b in th relationship. i know i wont regret it
but often, i cant help but t think tt if ii nv choose t b in one. what will become of us?
will we still remain as frens?
will i stil be hung up by wyner?
oh ya, speaking of tt sob. i cant help but think of him at times
it doesnt mean tt iim nt over him
it jus simply means tt ii wonder hows he doing now or those random thoughts of him
perhaps due t lack of closure thus ii would stil think of him at times
no harm done righ?

overall 
ii rly darn glad tt hav shawnyboy in my life now :)

ohwell, cant believed she jus push all the blame on us
lik hello! you tried t commit suicide and is our fault?
our fault tt you caught yr bf cheating?
our fault tt yr bf said tt he alr end it?
our fault tt he cheating on you wit another girl?
our fault tt we warned you not t trust him?
our  fault tt he wants a one month break away from you jus so t see whther he can work it out with other girl, if not, he will come t you?
do you srsly think tt you and him can last?
all these time, youve been enduring all those nonsense and we've always been there for you
yes, ii do agreed tt we put pressure on you jus so tt you can see tt this r/s is going nowhere
but by committing suicide and escaping all these is so not helping you at all
we kn what youre going thru
the pain
the uncertain

but by pushing th blame of yr tried suicide t us is not gonna help
do you kn how much guilt we felt?!
do you kn how much we cried for you due t your state?

srsly, ii dont know what t think anymore
perhaps we are not what you want us for.