usual wed night with bea sheryl eliza
used t go rebel but now changed t butter cos of guestlist

gave me a twinge of hope tt he might b coming
in the end he couldnt make it
cos he was having high fever since monday

though i understand tt hes sick
but it brought back all those painful memories
like how tt time he told me he wont b clubbing with me att rebel cos his frens over att elsewhere
and all those broken promises

mood plunge into darkness
practically stonning the whole night
drank damn alot
vodka tequila

think alcohol is my next bestie

was txting him throughout the night til 2am
told him ii was getting damn high and all
asked him whther he wants t fetch me home and alot of rubbishs tt ii din rmb typing

said he ate medicine and not in the condition t drive
once again, disappointment bestowed upon me
told him i miss him
he said : like real. you din even want t talk t me in the first pl etc

all ii was asking for was jus a simple " i miss you too " from him
disappointment sadness

guessed he fall aslp from 12 onwards.
txted me att 2am plus and asked me wther im alright
i din reply
intention t make him worried and call me
but he didnt

am i asking too much?

everytime he brings up the past
all i could rmb is those painful memories
those heartwrenching words
beautiful memories are fading away
replaced by those ugly painful memories

cried over supper
cos i reallie miss him & i want t see him
im sucha mess right?

eliza told me t give him a chance
im scared tt he might hurt me again like how he did the other time
if he could give up on us so easily last time
he could do so again this time round

my heart is too fragile

they said tht he reallie likes me tt y he came bk
but then again, he reallie likes me why he chose t give up tt time?!
too many questions
so many accusations

deep in the corner of my heart, i like him
i want t give him another chance
but i dont trust him or me
i don want t go thru another heartache due t him
don want cry over him
don want t panic over him

make me smile, will you?
cos i suddenly dont rmb how to smile at all.